Lucid=Safe

When I was a kid, I remember moments of needing to not be there, to vanish, to disappear in some way. This was in the period of my ten or twelve years. I would like to disappear for a moment. This could be the result of family problems, staying in bad situations, and wishing to disappear, with the background filled with the arguing words of my parents. When I would fall asleep, I would dream of a big monster close to the house, which I well knew not a monster  the house. This monster would come, and I would get scared and wake up, then fall asleep, and the same thing would happen until I told myself, 'Now I go to sleep, I will dream of him again and destroy him,' and it happened. After this situation, I would never  or very, very rarely, at least I don't remember  have scary dreams, and my dreams became lucid. Now, with lucid dreams, I found my safe spot, and dreaming became my escape from reality. I would start dreaming one dream, then teleport myself into another yes, like I say, teleport. I would just start dreaming another dream, which would be shaped in ways I wanted. Sometimes it would be hard to continue dreaming in this state, and sometimes it would be hard to wake up. I would feel I couldn't open my eyes. In my dreams, I would fly or do any crazy idea I had. All this dreaming would stop in my adolescent years because I would use let’s say it like this  my dreaming ability to transform my dreaming into pure sexual scenes, and this destroyed my lucid dreaming. Now I cannot remember, but when I think about this type of dreaming, I feel such a blissful emotion, which would occur in this state, a hot feeling close to my heart is the only way I can explain it. This non-existence state, which in my opinion is the best optimistic view one can take as an atheist, is the best thing that can happen to someone with atheistic views, and the best start for someone who is religious.Is speculative, but this state is the state we were feeling in the womb and which we will feel at the end.

When I cannot scream and the serpent is looking at me, I just teleport myself away.